Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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