How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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