connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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