You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize