I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize