My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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