so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
