i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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