I hate your face
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.