You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
50% drunk capacity currently
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
