I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
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Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.