Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
