People in love make me want to vomit
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
