Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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