do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
whose ass print is on the piano?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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