I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How does one acquire holy water?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
