I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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