Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
