I'm going to rape someone's good day.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
