how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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