Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I touched a dick in church today
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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