M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
