i think i have herpe
just one?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
