It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
