You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
