i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
