I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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