mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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