GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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