I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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