Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
