Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
