Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
