how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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