Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
