please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
