Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
