so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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