your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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