wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
