he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
