i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
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