I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
