you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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