1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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