i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
