Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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