ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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