I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
do herpes really smell.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
