Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
