Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
