she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
did i just pee glitter
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
