He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
