First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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