what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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