So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
