So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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