omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
