Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
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I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize