Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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