Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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