if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
