The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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