what day is it and did you see me today?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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